i want this to be said about my life..

"who is this coming up from the wilderness,
leaning on her Beloved?" sos8:5

to be completely dependent on the One who gave it all.
ah, more grace to be pour in spirit!

what does love look like?

i used to think that love was romance and something that i could find if i was lucky.
then i realized love defined on a tree.
arms wide open, beckoning me.
love looks like laying down one's life.
this is how i know what love is.
arms wide open, heart exposed.
love is not passive, love is passions flame.

the terrifying beauty of the cross.
the terrifying wisdom of the cross.

love is more than a choice. love is a fire.
love is not refined until its laid on the line.
i was made for love.

He says, you shall love me. you shall love me.
with all your heart. with all your soul. with all your strength. and all you know.

sometimes love looks like a fool with His heart on the line.
looking like a fool, bleeding on a tree, completely misunderstood.
this is how i know what love is.
laying it all down.
love is abandonment.
love is passions flame.
love demands everything.

you shall love Me. you shall love Me.
if you hate this life, then you'll find it.
follow Me in the way of love.

love is passions flame, a jealous name.
come put the first things first.
i want to love You, like you love me.

the terrifying beauty of the cross.
the terrifying wisdom of the cross.
only love could ever entice me.
only love could ever invite me.

I wrote music for a hymn called "the stubborn heart"

boomp3.com

the question of the hour...

Atlanta or Kansas City?

and please get the IHOP-Atlanta podcast and listen to "The Fellowship of His Suffering" series. it will seriously change how you think about a lot of things...

something to think about

The insistence that doctrines do not matter is really a doctrine itself. It holds a specific view of God, which is touted as superior and more enlightened than the beliefs of most major religions. So the proponents of this view do the very thing they forbid in others.

His blood.

lately i've felt literally sick of how much i have cheapened the power of Jesus dying for my sins and conquering actual death. he defeated death. death itself couldn't hold him down. He overcame death so now we have access to the Father.
a love i dont think we'll fully grasp until we see Him.
I'm tired of living like Jesus defeating death isn't that big of a deal. Through his blood being shed everything changed. death, sickness, disease, depression have ALL been defeated by the blood of Jesus. Why do I live like i'm still in bondage to these things? God, have mercy on us. I'm tired of tolerating the devil and not claiming the power that we have access to because of His death and resurrection. We, saints, have resurrection power on the INSIDE of us!! That is such a big deal. * (sidenote) His blood is more than enough. as believers, we're covered in it. and according to 1 john it continually covers us. so shouldnt the effects of His blood be changing everything we come in contact with that sets itself up against that?

Jesus is messing me up.
I want my life to look completely different.
Oh God, poor out more faith into our hearts.
I repent for cheapening your death and being a hindrance to what you want to accomplish on this earth. Teach us, show us, help us live for your completely. seriously. I repent for being ashamed of the gospel. JESUS YOUR BLOOD IS ENOUGH! help us walk in what you have given us. We are redeemed by the blood of the Lamb!! we are redeemed! Let's start living like it.

*isn't it crazy that there is debate over whether or not God will heal a sick person today, but none over the fact that the fullness God lives inside of us?! the fact that Christ lives in us is under no debate in the christian world. but laying hands on someone to be healed might not happen today? if the fullness of God is in me, how do signs, wonders, and miracles not follow me around? if the same spirit that was in the apostles is in each one of us..whats the deal? since God doesn't change or show favoritism, I'm beginning to believe that our lack of faith and revelation in our hearts about the power of the blood is keeping us from accessing these, what appear in the Bible as a normal part of christianity, at any level.
And this isn't for the sake of signs and wonders and miracles. its not to be cookey or to say look at me blah blah. it's for the sake of the kingdom. they lead us to Jesus. they show us more of his nature. more of who he is. i'm glad they are written down in a book for me to read about them, but actually experiencing them?!?! ahh. how much more intimate would you be with Him!

this isn't about me wanting to just experience signs, wonders and miracles.
it's about believing in Jesus.
and wanting his name to receive the praise, honor and glory that is due his name.

I am my Beloved's and He is mine

i got baptized tonight.  it was sooooo good.  His love for us is crazy.  and baptism goes way way way deeper than just a public profession of faith (or whatever they call it).  it is powerful...really powerful.  it moves the heavens FOR REAL!  it's powerful and our churches have dimmed it down.  i'm so thankful i had not been baptized again any other time than now.  He had been speaking to me about it a lot lately and almost every time  i thought about it the love of Christ would come upon me so thick it would take my breath away and i would begin to cry.  i think i could barely breath and couldn't stop crying the whole time during worship tonight ha.  our Father is soooo good, family!  it was an amazing amazing experience that i wish you guys and my friends could have been there for.  Jordan Mahy and his dad met me out there and it was really nice to have them there with me when no one else could.  its weird because this day was really really imporant to me (i'd been really excited for it and thinking about it a lot with a lot of anticipation over the past few days) and when i would tell people and ask if they wanted to come it was like it was no big deal.  IT'S HUGE!  i know they didn't understand the HUGENESS of this to me and how much tonight meant to me which i can't blame them for because just recently had i been open to that there is a lot of power in baptism.  i'm so thankful Jordan and his dad could be there with me.  it was cool though in a way that no one else could or wanted to come because it made me realize that although no one really cared Jesus was ecstatic!  He will always be there with me...always.  HE IS FAITHFUL.  we CAN trust in his promises because trusting in these is having hope and scripture tells us that hope DOES NOT fail...which in itself is a promise to the faithfulness of his promises ha.  take us up Lord.  take delight in me and have favor on me, Lord